Oh Lord....It's Too Big

So yesterday was a day of having anneurisms. The Salvation Army managed to show up on time and took my old stuff away. It was sad. Then I wait for the new furniture. And wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. They get there late, and I mean late. And then they bring in a box...and another...and another...and I am like...ok, those can't be the couches. They are the endtable and coffee table...that I have to put together myself. Then they bring in the sofa and loveseat and I nearly fall over. They looked normal in the store, but they are fucking HUGE in my apartment, which is not that big. So I start freaking out. Where are they going to go. Of course, I can't hang around or I will be late to rehearsal, so I leave my new furniture....with the cats milling about.

I get home and spend about two hours putting together the table, had to leave one in the box because I have NO room for it. I re-arrange the furniture, add the accent pieces, and still freak out that it is not what I want it to look like. ARGH!!!!

At least it looks like something like an apartment now.

I did not just use the phrase accent pieces, did I?

Count Chocula's Side Show

I COMPLETELY forgot to talk about this. I went to Publix the other day and was OVERJOYED that they finally got the Count Chocula line of cerelas (which include Franken Berry and Boo Berry). You have to understand that I have a fond obsession for those cereals since I visited America when I was a wee lad. When we finally moved here, I could not find them ANYWHERE> I even wrote a letter to General Mills. And now...they are back. I have not had cerela in about 9 months, but I tell you what, I have been a cereal eating fiend all week. The enjoyment may not be the same, but it's the satisfaction

I am REALLY loving Side Show and singing the songs and the people. I am not deluding myself because I know it is going to be tough as shit (I am singing some HIGH ass notes in this one), but I am looking forward to learning a lot.

Tomorrow....furniture....he he he

I is soooooo tired

I was SO exhausted after coming home from rehearsal last night that I just did not care about eating at midnight. I make it point not to eat after ten, but I did care this time. The second day of rehearsal went better. It is amazing how seven people can produce such a full and beautiful sound. I love it. The people are really nice, although I am trying to not be in a jokey and conversational mood because I notice that when we stall to make a joke or laugh, the "professionals" always give each other looks. This week should go pretty easy on me with the studying I have to do, I just hope the rest of the rehearsal schedule is like that.

My furniture finally arrives tomm and Salvation Army is taking away the old shit. I am still rather worried about having off-white couches (I can hear my mom now: Jesus Christ, Fedi! What thee hell wehre you thinking?) But I figure, it;s just me and the cats, and the couch is pre-treated. I figure if I ever change my color scheme I won't have to change the couch. Let me rationalize it however i want, ok>

Come Look at the Freaks . . .

So after getting only 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night, my happy ass woke up at 8:33 a.m., instead of 7:20 a.m. like I was supposed to. My ass RUSHED to get ready and to school in time, and I did, but I was a waste of space because I was so tired. Thank god I didn't have them do much in class.

I had my very first rehearsal for Side Show. I was intimidated when I first walked into the theatre even though I know Jason and Amy. I can already tell that this will be nothing like I am sued to on the community level. Dare I say, it will be better. We had rehearsal until 8...can you say, "Fadi is tired?" But I had fun. I was a atd bit anti-social to begin with, new surroundings and all, but I warmed up to some of the people soon enough. It;s just rouhg when the majority of the people are professionals. But I guess I should start seeing myself as one. I think the rehearsal schedule problems will be fine since i am not the only one with a job and classes so I think i will be ok with comps as long as I buckle down and get some studying done. I am feelign confident. I started reading up on Romanticism today and found I remembered a lot more than I thought.

Three more days and I can relish in new furniture...thank God!

Narcoleptic Hugging the Bubba . . .

No, that does not mean I am in a holding cell. It refers to an action performed on candles as they burning. It involves the "hugging" of the sides and pushing downard and inward of the soft wax to the center of the flame so as for the candle to burn more evenly. Well wasn;t that just pretentious. I learned it from Sara. The hugging, not the pretentiousness. My 5-inch candles have no burned down to half-inch disks, and I wait in eager anticipation to start burning my cranberry balsam (also a Sara choice) candles. God, am I fucking pathetic or what?

On an interesting note, I think I have narcolepsy. I swear, something is wrong because almost everyday for the last two weeks, regardless of how much sleep I get, I will literally just pass out on my bed and wake up about two or three hours later. This of course screws up my sleeping schedule for the evening, but I have no idea why that is happening.

On a good note, I may not be poor after last night's spending spree. All I have ot say is thank God for E-bay and my obsessive memorabilia collecting over the year. It killed me to part with some things, but the money I made off of two items should take care of some bills. Did I mention I hate being poor. This no-green card/no-job thing is just a pain in my ass. I even considering signing up for the army to get a green card, but we all know my happy ass is "just to pretty to be in harsh conditions," as my friend Brent would say. Besides, I can see myself joining some kind of USO show and throwing tap shoes and pointe shoes at the enemy across the fields.

Cross Dresser, Part 2 . . .

And here is the finished product. Well...almost. I still need to do something around the mirror on the plain white walls (ick). Otherwise I have stripped every vestige of my pubescence including scraping off the names of friends who signed my mirror with puffy paints. It was sad experience. Of course, since I am such a pack rat, I saved the pieces. I know...it;s sick. I am slowly but surely trying to get more decorated and less lazy about my place looking proper. Clean is one thing, livable is another.

Cross Dresser . . .

This is what my dresser looks like...to be honest it has not changed much since I was in high school and something Sara said sparked my desire to change and make things a little more...how do you say..."up to date" So I am doing a before and after picture. Of course my web cam sucks ass but you get the idea of the clutter. let's see what I can do with it.

Jeepers Creepers....That's My Brother!

Well I just got back from a long day of spending money I DO NOT have and watching a movie to make me forget that. I did get a really cool sofa set, for actually a damn cheap price. I just need to get one or two choreography jobs and I can pay for it NOW. I went to see Jeepers Creepers with Sara. It was an interesting movie. Very different from normal horror.thriller movies nowadays, and from what I understand, very much like the old 80s horror movies. The one thing I really liked about the movie was the non-stock ending. I can appreciate any movie that works outside the "boundaries" of its genre.

I have been watching HBO's Band of Brothers. It is actually quite good. What I find interesting and somewhat ironic about it is that most of the American soldiers in the Easy Company are played by British actors. Again, this say something. Like you think I am going to make it easy and tell you :) GO BRITS!!!!!

To Sofa, or Not to Sofa . . .

I have decided to start heading my blog entries.....just because I want to. I got the damn permalinks to work right, so I am happy about that. So I woke up this morning and looked at the RTG flyer I got yesterday from the store. At first I thought to mysef, "Why the hell bother getting new furniture when you don;t entertain?" Then I thought, "I'll be gone in a year. What's the point?" And then I realized that I DON'T entertain because I don't HAVE proper furniture. And then I realized that I may not be going anywhere with everything going on in NY. So then I tried looking for something cheaper. And I found it. It;s not purple...it;s white. eh. But it will go with anything if I decide to change my color schemes, and I can get some accent pillows to make everything match up. Did I just use the words "accent pillow"?

I borrowed Someone Like You from Sara last night. Great movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it. We are going to see the sneak preview of Hearts in Atlantis. I love Stephen King's new works and I love Anthony Hopkins....so why not? This blog has now gotten boring as shit.

Well...I think I am going to go ahead and stay in Side Show. The managing director agreed to work around my schedule so I am happy...it will still be hell, but it is better than nothing. On a good note, those theatre alliance auditions keep turning up good things. I got a call from Florida Studio Theatre to audition for some cabaret show, got a call from TBPAC to audition for The Crucible (altho they must be whacked if they think I can pass for a Puritan American), and I finalized the deal to choreograph for a local dance company sometime after January. All this stuff and I wonder why in the hell I want to keep going to school and get my P.h.D. Let's seeeeeeeeeeee? Job security. Money. And, oh yes, a JOB.

I was planning on staying home tonight and studying but that did not work out at all. I went to school to get my paycheck and ended up going out with "the group" to Friday's and chatting, and Rooms to Go to find a sofa and loveseat since they have no interest or payments till April 2003 (schweet...did I just say that?) and I found the perfect set :), and then went to Ybor to see a friend's poetry slam...however....we ended up not being able to find the place AT ALL. Looked for an hour and just ended up going to Joffrey's and going home. Fun....

I NEED to study. I MUST pass. I MUST find a way to get a big wad of dough.

I am SO exhausted and behind in my work. I fell asleep for three hours this afternoon when I could have been studying and grading papers. I am seriously considering not doing Side Show. I can;t let something like thst suck up all my time when I have something this important to worry about. This will be the first time i have ever dropped out of a show, unless they can work around my schedule problems. Then again, I have NO clue what the schedule is because they haven;t even come up with one. This royally sucks ass. Although, I am set to choreograph for a dance company next semester, so that is exciting. I just cannot wait until November 17 has come and gone. ARGH!

I am so tired but not tired enough to sleep. I am overwhelmed by this feeling of needing to get the heck out of dodge. Moving to NY is obviously out of the question, at least for a couple of years. However, I see this as a sign that I can pursue my move to Europe and follow my goals on that route. Ah....how nice it would be to get AWAY. I would miss some of my friends, but the positives in this case far outweigh the negatives. Ok, that's it....good night.

You know...I realize more and more everyday how amazingly far, vast, and deep Ignorance's reach is. I have also realized that I still LOVE fucking with people's minds and keeping them guessing. And the pure satisfaction comes from knowing that they will never get an answer and will live in blissful ignorance with a perspective they construct based on their rationalizing situations and environments they can neither understand nor reach. Stuff like this used to bother me in high school until I realized that if people were going to believe what they wanted to regardless of the facts...well then...who am I to change that? >:)

Welll..I did not get the new apartment. I am not surprised. But I did write a nasty letter to the manager..so let'ss see what happens. The party yesterday was amazing. I was up until 3:30 chatting it up with people. I didn;t enjoy getting felt up everyone now and then by drunk people, but the rest of the evening was great. I am exhausted and I need to seriously get down to some work.

Yay!!! I Fixed it!!!! :))))))))))))))))))))))

Damn it all....I am trying ot make changes ot my blog and I have no idea why in the hell it is not working....FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

I am soooooooooooooooooo boooooooooooooooooooooooooored. I seriously need to start studying for my comps, but I have no motivation yet. Ok, I really want ot finish and get my PhD. This is something I need to do. I really want that apartment overlooking the lake. I must have that. Altho I must say that fate has a funny way of working. Someone moved into the apartment above Rotunda's. I checked out the lake-side apartment and it is exacty what I need. Everything looks new and updated. I only have tow points of contact with others as opposed to four here. It is on the third floor. SUNLIGHT! And the lake and trees. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE let me get it! On a good note...party tomm. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am living in hell! First of all, I talked to the manager YET AGAIN about the noise situation and she basically told me she needed more proof. Which means they think I am making this shit up. She wanted me to call her when the noise happens so she can send someone to hear it for themselves. Well, last night I called the courtesy security to come listen to the noise and theminute the guy walked in my apt. he said "Oh yeah, I hear it." He was shocked my the paint and pocorn chips that had fallen down and called back to have them fill out a report to send to the front office about it. So they can take the proof and choke on it. As if that wasn't enough to worry about, with all the rain I have had leaks popping up all over the place from the roof and from under the carpet. I am living in the projects. I need ot move. I called over to the office and they have two possible openings. ONe which is the building next door to mine and the apt. I could get into is on the third floor AND overlooks the lake AND gets sunlight. I may just go ahead and do that. I am going to have to rally my friends to help me move because I ain;t got the dough to do it myself. It may end up being worse, but at least I will be at the top floor and closer to nature and away from Rotunda. And who knows...maybe I can get THEM to pay for it. Oh the optimism.

Well, my letter that I wrote did appear in the school paper today. Naturally, the had to do some editing since it wa so long. They took out some important statements I made, but the jist of it is all there. I found it interesting that they took out my statement bearting them for the horrible pictures they included in their publication. Hmmmm......

Well...what an interesting 24 hours this has been. My fingers are cramped from typing all night last night. I was answering phone calls, ims and e-mail from friends and students all night. I was up until 1:30 a.m. I have never watched TV for that long in my life. It was interesting getting the various reactions from fearing the world was going ot end the same day and wanting to make the middle east "a parking lot" by "nuking the shit out of it." The anitpathy, ethnocentrism, and vengeful patriotism cuased by this situation is horrifying and the media is NOT helping at all. They are making things worse by showing clips over and over again and in increasing severity. They are propogandistically using the flag to incite fear and panic in order for the eventual call to war to seem more credible. I am not downplaying the severity of the situation because it is devestaing, but the pointing of fingers against groups and culture based SOLELY on looks is ridiculous. I face some problems whenI first came to this country because I look like an Arab (barely) and people assumed I was form Iraq. I got some dirty looks and muttered slurs today, but you know what...I did not care. I felt more for those internationla students who are not as socialized as I am. Being hostile towards those people is pointless, I battled their ignorance in my classroom and in another famous Fadi editorial for the school newspaper. The students needed the discussion and they needed to understand some of the whats and whys of cultures, peoples, and countries outside of America. As horrible as this sounds, this is the wake up call that America needed. Ignorance is what is going ot make this situaion worse. I heard word that some of the Arab students were harrassed and some attacked. This is all ridiculous because the fingers are pointing to Afghanistan which is not even an Arab country or a part of the Middle East. People cannot discern between different cultures...everyone who is not an American is the "other" and the different. I truly hope they find the guilty for the plain fact that these attacks and hatred towards the other will get worse. If the comments I heard from students and friends last night are any indication Arabs and Arab-Americans and Muslims are in trouble. Bullshit....yes....expected....yes....surprised....not really.

What makes this all the more freakish is reading Nostradamus' predictions about WW3. These events are all playing into what he talked about. Rather freakish. I know prophecies should always be taken with a grain of salt, but if we can buy into the bible and its prophecies, we can buy into the others. However, using those and religion as ammunition and reasons to go to war is assinine. There is not need for more loss of innocent life...regardless of a cultural connection. I fear for what is to come and I fear for those students at USF.

I cannot believe what I have been seeing live for the last 4 hours. It was bad enough when a plane crashed into the south tower. I freaked out the south tower collapsed and then in complete shock when the north tower fell, and the Pentagon was atacked. What the fuck is going on? Someone is seriously going to be paying for this and I can only imagine what kinf od war is going to errupt because of this. I just hope people can keep their patriotism in check long enough to realize that they should be blaming any nation or small country. Terrorist groups are entities of their own and their violent actions should not be the cause of another war. The frightening things is that this will not be the end of it. I have this bad feeling that it is going to get worse later today or tomm.

Holy shit! so I wake up to see a plane crash into one of the twin towers as the other is already on fire and smoking. What in God's name is going on out there? First Rotunda, then Sara's kamikaze attacking cat, and now this. I use humor to lighten the situation:) I cannot believe I actually saw a plane fly INTO the building. This is ridiculous and this spells some BIG time trouble. This is not the sign of good things to come.

While this may seem insensitive at this point, Bush's speech to the country reagrding the crash is just another example of how illiterate the man is. "Terrorism in this country will not stand." HUH????????? try "will not be tolerated," Dubya. This is all just too surreal.

So a friend of mine asked me to turn some of his LPs into cds in exchange for all the..ahem...videos he has given me. So I check out how to do it and check my connections and realize that for the last eight months my sound system wires have been all mixed up...I am surprised it still worked. I was using a scanner adapter to power my speakers, the microphone cable in the mp3 port, a portable mic in the mic port, the sound out line in the sound in....OY! I finally got everything where it needs to be....but I can;t turn my mic off. It;s kind of scary....even when I unplug it it still records sounds.

Well, I had a swell time at my mom's house. I did laundry, watched TV, read a little, thought about redecorating her house (I got bored and read a Home Living mag), and slep in peace and quiet for a LONG time. I was in heaven.....and now...I am back in hell....but soon...they WILL be gone. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!

School again tomm....yay! Acutally, I am looking forward to it. I can;t really stand one of my classes....they seem to think they know it all and I keepproving them wrong again and again, my other class I love because they are directly in line with that the class, college, and life is. It's amazing the difference in classes.

I have spent most of my evening counseling friends. It has been a busy evening.

On a good theatrical note. I am looking forward to Side Show. My dance company may temporarily be defunct, but in talking to Jane I realized thisd must be fate telling me I need to go slower. I have no clue how to run one nor what to do. Luckily in the last few days I have been asked to choreograph pieces for once dance company and the possibility of joining another, and a director in Brooksville who is interested in meeting me after what he has heard. I am sooo happy because I have not really danced in 6 months and I am starting to lose my mind. Twirling around in my living roomd and dancing in my head is not doing it for me.

I just wish school was not in the way and I had my green card. Of course, I am having second thoughts about leaving school because i REALLY want a PhD and I REALLY want to work with some of the profs in that department. But I must keep telling myself that life is out there, and, most importantly, I have NOOOOOOOOOOO money!

Wow...I am on a serious procrastination kick and I should not be. I need to study for my comprehensive exams and the feeling just does not seem to be coming to me. I have decided to run away for the weekend to my mother's house since she is out of town so I can get some peace and quiet and an actual decent night's sleep. I really hope they get moved out within the next week or so because I am thinking along some very violent lines of what to do to them. I usually don;t get like this, but when my peace and quiet and livelihood are being fucked with I have no problem dealing with it in whatever way I need to.. Until then, I am packing my laundry, some food, some videos, and a book, and I am off.

ok, I am reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally starting to hate Wednesdays. I have had long days before, but my God. Being at school from 8 am to 9 pm is hellish. What makes it worthwhile and bearable is hanging out with and talking ot many of the new TAs I have gotten to know. They are so freaking amazing. We spend most of the day cracking our asses up. Thank God for people with a sense of humor.

And here is the couch. It is STILL out there and we had a huge rainshower. That thing is going to start getting rank tomm. And just for fun here is what is directly outside my window.

I didn;t realize it until I moved in and believe it or not, hearing the noise of 6 ACs is actually soothing. That is until they start whirring and sounding like croaking frogs at which point I sneak outside and cut the power line to the troubling unit....not...that....I ever would do that >:)

So I went into the office again today and talked to the manager and she asked how it was going and I just looked at her like, "Are you insane?" And told her the shpeel again. She said she found it amazing that they could make that noise because they seemed so nice ONLY because of their damn chihuahua. I told her looks can be deceiving. She said she would take care of it and involve the lawyers if need be. I am assuming that means their asses are gone. She mentioned something to me about moving to the third floor in another buiding and I told her it would be fair for me to move because I have no time or the money for that asnd besides if I did move, I told her that the next tennant would have the same exact problem unless they were deaf. Soooooooooo....they should be gone soon. They fucked with the wrong camel.

On a school note...the list serv that I am on for English graduate students became am oderated list today because some people (altho some of us know it is only one person) complained about the content and receiving too many e-mails...umm....press the DELETE button morons. What is even funnier is that the student who set up the list even HAS to moderate the list. But he says it is not censorship and would just bounce the other e-mails to another list serv. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII don;t think so. This is where the Norma Rae in me comes out.

There is something to be said for courtesy security....this being the third time I called them, and surpise, the noise stopped. So far I have been nice each time I have gone into the office to complain, now I become an asshole. My justification? When I went in there last week and told one of the reps that I had complained several times to the manager and she had told me she had responded first with a phone call and then a letter, the rep checked the file for that apartment and found...nothing. How odd. So I think she has been talking to the wrong apt. Not so....either she has not made any record of her attempts, or she has lied to me and made no contact with them, which would explain why the noise has not abated at all. Time to become a raging bitch.

I just read one of the entries in my guestbook, and not that I am complaining about people signing the book, but I am really annoyed by techno-tweens who find it cool not not only ghetto-ize spellings but find it important to WriTe in bOth caPS and LowERcase. What the fuck is that all about? Do they REALLY think that is in any way, shape or form cool? I am all for finding your identity, especially within the cyber-contexts, but come one....find something original that actually has some sort of identifying meaning.

MY GOD! How old is freaking Ed McMahon?????? The man must be so shellaqed and tucked. And Jerry Lewis looks like he got beached and man-tanned. I need to just crawl under my sheets and sleep for a loooooooong time....like in A.I.

Had the craving to have a hot dog....now THIS is interesting....still have the eight buns, right? But the hot dog package has SEVEN hot dogs....what the....?????

Well, the water finally came on at like 4:30. Rotunda and the Bitch Boy have been at an all time stomping tournament high tonight...I swear they are running a bordello up there. They MUST be swingers coz I am always seeing a different guy with them. The overturned couch is still outside, I may just have to take a picture of it tomm. I am still running on this exhaustion binge and I have no idea why. I am not feeling sick at all, but I can;t stop sleeping. Hmmm...and let;s see...I guess that's it....

I decided to make a little change to the site...whatta ya think? Gonna make some larger ones later, but just foolin around for now.

Ok, I just got back from the grocery store and had a craving for Hebrew National Hot Dogs because they are freaking awesome and are actually made from the right parts of the cow. Well, naturally I had ot buy hot dog buns....why the hell this country insists on selling hot dogs in sixes and buns in eights I will NEVER understand. Well, I looked on the bag of buns when I got home and I started cracking up. I guess some consumers must REALLY be stupid because if you have to be told this:

Then you have NOOOOOOOOOOO business eating anything that can't be sucked through a straw.

There is NO water running throughout the entire complex. It has been like that since 10. Do you understand how nasty I feel and how much I want and NEEEEEED to go to the bathroom. I am ready to go dig a pit outside. This place keeps getting worse and worse. Rotunda, Water, Sewage, what next? Locusts?!?!?!?!

Ok, so I am really surprised that I got 10 hours of sleep considering my environment. But I heard nothing. I even used by 22 dec. ear plugs just in case, but those things really hurt after a while. I actually woke up to my body's natural clock, and not my cats, my alarm, or Rotunda and the Bitch Boy. Mayhaps this will keep up?

Has anyone noticed, for those of you who get cable and the info option, that for movie channels the info box also has little judgements in it? Like "complex movie," "overrated film," "underdeveloped cinematic failure." What the hell is that all about?

If everything goes well with money, which is never does, I will be taking a trip to New Orleans for the MLA conference in December with Brent, Harmony, and Ana Maria in my Wee-V (as Sara calls it), and then off to Chicago in March for the 4C's conference. I need to start saving money now...but hmmmm...where the hell am I gonna get that money?

On a completely different matter....the overturned couch is still sitting in my front yard....I feel like I am living in an Appalachian Hollow Community.