But What Means this Word: "Love"?

I decided to start doing some ground work for my thesis (doing a cultural perspective treatment of Joseph Mancure March's The Wild Party in tandem with its musical counterparts of the same name; one written by Michael John LaChuisa, and the other by Andrew Lippa. I am especially interested in the LaChuisa version because I think it is more faithful to the original text plot and context. Besdies, I absolutely love his lyrics and music and think he is the MOST overlooked composer/lyricist of our time.

In any case, there are a few sung lines that the character Kate sings in regards to love that just struck me as absolutely amazing and true:

I'm gonna tell you something

Something I learned too long ago:

Love ain;t nothin but a whole lotta nothing

And you know what it's really about?

It;s about comfort, not love, loverman

It's about comfort

And keepin hold of it, hanging on to it

And doin whatever it takes to get more

Now as much as I love music, I tend to be a note whore and loves songs for their vocal potentiality before their lyrical, but this was a different thing. I find those lines to be so incredibly true. Trying to define love is as difficult as trying to prove God's existence, they both require some measure of faith. However, the pursuit of the former is what tends to drive people insane most of their lives. Trying to fall in love, hanging onto those people with whom you fall in love, grieving over the loss when the love is no longer there. But how much of it is this thing called "love" and how much of it is truly an issue of comfort: being with someone, having someone around, sharing a clsoe sapce with someone else. After all, the only difference between a friend and a lover is the physical aspect (and, yes, I am excluding friends with benefits).

I am always in disbelief when my friends tell me they are in love because my reflex is to say "how do you know?" And then I watch as they flounder and areunable to answer me, and I just shake my head. I am especially skeptical when it is said after a SHORT amount of time. For me, to "love" someone, you have to know them pretty damn well; both their bad and their good qualities, and be able to connect with them on emotional, mental, and physical levels. That does not mean getting minor play talking about bullshit and thinking you are in love. Of course, I am torn in my thoughts about this because I truly believe that those relationships we have when we are younger prepare us for the relationships in the real world. BUT, there is a line I don't think you cross in those interim stages. This culture and society is so based on sex that that seems to be the impetus behind people geting into relationships and staying in them. After all, the cliche is that people fall in love at first sight, which basically means falling in love with the outer/physical shell, not some metaphysical arrow of love.

Granted, this all sounds like the ramblings of a cynic or one who has had his heart broken, but it;s not. I just makes more sense. When I think of the married couples I know, friends who jump from one relationship to another, those who give themselves up physically so easily and freely, those who say or think "love" too quickly, I wonder if it all isn;t in some pursuit of just "being" with someone and getting that comfort of having someone around. I mean think about it, the married couples that last the longest are those that share the most comfort, not the most love. Maybe one means the other and vice versa.

I just hate the word "love" and the way it is tossed around. People imbue simple words with the most abstract of ideas, and in this case to explain those butterflies and nervous tendencies so stereotypical of falling for someone. And again, I am not saying people should not seek relationships with others; it IS part of the growth process. I just have a problem with the lack of understanding people have about it, the flippancy at which they connect and disconnect, and the fallacy in thought behind what they think will keep that comfort close by. And that bullshit of "I feel ready" is just that, bullshit. There is a difference between taking a risk and pre-planning some "fated" event. I am sure this is all sound and fury; people have been like this for a very long time and to ask for simplicity and a pause for logical thought would be asking too much. It seems we are too concerned with our base animal natures and not with anything of substance.