Changes

So in order to help all those many reader of my blog in understanding who my friends are that I mention, I added a new table to the left. Simply click and it will reveal my relationship with that person. It would be easier if my main site was still up. Then you could visit my friend's page. But this is easier. BTW, don;t click now....there is nothing there yet. I was too busy trying to figure out the DAMN pop.window script.

Also updated my "current" lists as well.

What a Day!

So I spent most of my day with Jorge, my triple threat friend. And by that I mean Latino, gay, and hearing impaired. We were supposed to go to lunch at a gay restaurant, which begged the question: What makes a gay restaurant GAY? SO I admit I was intrigued, but it was closed, so we have lunch at La Teresita with the mose interesting wait staff. Ay dios mio! Then we drove around and he showed me Hyde Park...how bougie and chi-chi. I would NEVER shop there. First of all, I have no money, and second, it looks like you need a friggin' dress code for that place. Then we went to Treasures and Tomes. A gay bookstore/coffee shop. What an INERESTING place. My experience in visiting gay establishments is very small, limited to about three places in the last 8 years, so it is a little off-putting whenever I go into one. I always feel like I have to act a certain way, and by my actor's nature, I tend to fit in anywhere I go like a chameleon. But it was fun, I had a hazlenut chai latte made up by this VERY unhappy butch lez and then surfed the stacks and magazine racks. I did not realize there were SO many gay magazines out there. Inlcuding one VERY interesting one...Foreskin Quarterly. WHY in God;s name ANYONE would read that.

Anyway, we ran some errands, I took him home and then booked it over to Sara's to hang out and play XBox and talk and watch TV and love on her cats. I have fun over there. I think I spend more time there than in my own apartment. I even did the dishes. THAT is a true sign of comfort. While I was there I talked to a former student who suggested I make web sites for side $. I did not think I had that ability, but he seems ot think so and said he could throw some clients my way. I talked to Sara and it turns out we both had designs to do something like that. So we may go into business doing small-to mid level sites. I think it would be fun, and God knows I could use the friggin money.

Still crossing fingers for teaching jobs in the summer so I can LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Oscars

So black people broke the "ch"ackles, Moulinwas snubbed, the Lord was dethroned, and a an abusive gay pschizophrenic mathematician and nobel prize winner wins the top honors. Need I say more? Yes, I need to.

It is interesting that while LOTR and Moulin were lauded by many that they were snubbed in top honors, but recived them in categories dealing with visual rhetoric. Now, I believe that part of that has to do with the fact that they are not mainstream genres as they used to be and would never win those coveted awards. Moulin is a musical (a genre just NOW coming back into recognition since the Golden Musicals) and a fantasy film (which requires a little too much imagination on the part of easily placated and violence driven audiences with the IQ's of a cabbage). These two films were amazing in bother their visual and verbal rhetoic, but as is always the case when a viewer is forced to "think" a movie loses merit. Such was the case with Eyes Wide Shut and A.I. and other movies of those ilk that require more than surface viewing. SHOULD movies be deeper or should they just be there for mental masturbation? Only in this societry can everything from musicals and novels to movies and music exist on the level of pure entertainment with their historical ties to rheotoric and public pedagogy severed in favor of the Benjamins.

As for Halleand Denzel. GO!!!!!!! I am so glad that black people are finally being truly recognized for their talent and achievment. Of course, this begs the question of whether they received their awards BECAUSE thy are black or in spite of it. I would like to think the second, but one never knows. At least the doors have been kicked down and paths are being made. Maybe Margaret Cho and Jackie Chan will be awarded next year?

As for Beautiful Mind, it;s oh so not beautiful.

Unfulfilled

If I sit in front of my computer another minute I am going to go insane. I know I have things to do but I am not sure when to do them. I have a thesis I could be writing. I am getting my workout hours in. But I have watched more TV and cleaned my hard drive so many times that I am officially growing moss. I am desperately trying to find a way to make some money this summer since USF is screwing me over with no classes this summer. Plus, I have reached my teaching limit (you would think that they would not limit how many semesters you could teach when they are desperate for teachers) so I am trying to find other places to teach in, but that all depends on the green card situation. THIS SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS!!!!!! I got an offer from HCC, I just need my damn papers soI can work off-campus.

In unrelated news, the Evil Demon Bitch Queen is up to her usual bullshit. It's nice when 40-year-olds act like they are ten. Everything in its time. Karma always has a way of getting someone back for all the negative energy they put out. The bitch WILL go down.

. . . sigh . . .

Well, I seem to be having one of those shitty-ass feeling weeks/days. Not sure if it is at all related to my burthday, but I am just feeling really lowdown. I have tried everything from watching shows, listening to cats recordings, throwing myself into my work, dancing till I drop, talking to friends, and watching more hours of TV than a normal person should...nothing has worked. I just feel like I am missing out on something and instead wasting my time on frivolous things. I feel so unfulfilled in everything that I used to love doing, from teaching to choreographing. Nothing moves me or makes me feel real anymore. I could possibly just be REALLY bored and need a desperate change of scene. CJ got is getting his acceptance letters from UK universities an actually asked me when I was going to go over. The more and more I think about it, the more and more I pray I get my green card soon. Altho how ironic would that be. I wiat 12 years to get my paperwork and when I do, the first thing I do is hightail it out of here. I do need to get my ass to NY as soon as possible. I just wish there was something more. It;s all just...not enough.

FREAKIN A!

Since my blogger archives refuse to work properly, I am just going to post the flipping individual links on my page. It;s easier that way anyways.

And you shall be visitied by seven plagues

I am living in some biblical farce. I come home after a surprise dinner that some friends gave me for my birthday and I drop something as I walk up the walkway. I bend down and there are HORDES of frogs just staring at me and all of a sudden a wail of frog croaks erupts around the lake. I can still hear them now. WHat next? Locusts?

So the birthday was not bad. Had some very pleasant surprises. It was a nice day. Next!!!!

Hooked on Phonics Anyone?

As a comp teacher many would assume that I have impecable speaking and writing skills...however...one look at my blog and you would think that I couldn't read or write and drew pictures with a stick on a clay tablet. Frankly, if you get the jist, deal with the errors. My hands type too fast, my mind races, and I have no time to spell check.

On an odd note, for some reason the entire month of my September 2001 archive will not show up on my pages and is missing from the republish page. I can type in the addy and the page with all the entries ofr that month is right there, but it exists nowhere else. I am thoroughly confused. I know...like any of you really care.

COLORGENICS

These results were frightening to say the least. Mostly because they are true:

You are so adamant in your present beliefs that you are not willing to concede to anything. You are dictatorial in presenting these ideas, and are not open to other people's views. The way you are feeling at present, there is little that anyone can do to dissuade you or to change attitudes in you that are now deeply entrenched. You will find that you are more popular in life if you can open your mind to the possibility that others have insights of their own to offer.

You are very self-sufficient and are very orderly in your daily planning. You presume to know where you are going ... but you need to find a soulmate who will feel empathy with the way you are, someone who will not make demands on you and who is, as they say in Italy, "simpatico".

Your confidence has been shattered... There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled, and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination... they are real, and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavour...but in order to develop your "inner- self" you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals.. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.

You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all ... The existing situation is not of your liking. You have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others ... and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of "total surrender". This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome; You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able can you maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence "you need to be needed" ... and at the same time... .."you need to need".

The need for admiration and to be regarded as "someone special" is perhaps one of the foremost aims in your life at this time. You would like to perhaps do something outrageous or anything that will give you the chance to be recognised as someone special.. This desire has now almost become an obsession and in your own way you are trying to fulfil this "complex" by ensuring you are the centre of attention, both at work or play ... or in the home. Stop trying so hard... and you will find that people will like you for who you are ... not for who you are pretending to be....

Yeah, yeah, yeah

So tomorrow is my birthday. I think I managed to successfully keep it from most people. I did slip and tell Sara assuming that she knew, at which point I was yelled at. Honestly, birthdays are quite pointless to me. They were when I turned 21. So another year has come and gone and I have officially reached the quarter of the century mark. So thfpt!

Ow...

Oh the pain of being a choreographer. Not only am I choreographing a musical, but a specialty dance piece for a fundraiser show. I have muscles I never knew existed. Like the muscles that go from the top of the chestbone, around your neck and past your jaw. Yah....pain. Can;t even swallow. Then, today, I completely RUMMBED my toe raw in my point shoes. My back hurts. My neck is sore. I am exhausted.....GOd I love it!