Today was interesting. And if I could conjure any other boring ass opener than that I should be killed. I woke up and got a bug in my ass to go work out again. I was having a "fat day." Hanging out with too many girls is getting to me. So, I go to the workout room and hop on the treadmill....my old, neverending, no-destination friend. After 10 minutes, I say fuck it and jump off and get in my car and drive to Flatwoods Park. Sara introduced me to that park and I would sometimes acoompany her on her walks/blading outings. Blading? Sounds like we went around jumping out of bushes and cutting unsuspecting joggers and bikers. So I arrive and manage to remember the trail she took me on. For the next hour, and I can't believe it only took that long, I walked through 7 miles of forested trails with the breeze blowing on my face and the sun shining on my back. It was a great experience. I had a walkman with me that died about 20 minutes into my sojourn, but that ended up being a blessing. I was left with nothing else but nature itself, and I relished in it for all 7 miles.
There is something about walking alone in the woods and listening to the sounds of nature. The wind through tall grass, pine cones dropping their seeds, grasshoppers jumping and whirring, drangonflies whizzing by, armadillos audibly trodding like elephants tromping through a jungle, and the occasional sound of water rippling. At one point, I just stopped and lied down in a patch of tall grass and just let my senses run rampant. It has been so long since I have just put myself in that kind of vacuous sensory overload. I forgot about every single bit of enculturated civilization. Every bit of technology and reliance on the "other." Everything that made me forget the most basic instinct of humans...to go back to nature. It really is just in us. I used to love walking around parks and looking at all that life, and at some point I just got too busy. Today I went back to that place and realized how much I missed it. Before I knew it I was back at my car, a sweating and tired mess, but I felt revived. Oddly enough, soon after I got home I just felt this sense of longing and emptiness. It has not gone away and I find myself somewhat sad, but not in a depressed way. It;s kind of hard to explain. It;s almost like I am jonesing to go back among the trees and wildlife and realizing what is poisoning me in my current environment.
My ultimate nature fantasy is a symphony of senses. I want to lie in a field of grass surrounded by trees and water. A sunny day, with a few clouds in which the sun can play hide and seek. A slight breeze blowing; strong enough to make my hair wave like the blades of grass, but not overwhelming to sound like an onerous tunneled train. I want to lie there, close my eyes, feel the sun and wind and listen to the orchestra of mother nature's musicians. The low bass of crickets and grasshoppers. The soprano wind blowing through the trees. The percussive creek churning around rocks and the falling leaves beating the soft ground. The tenorous birds chirping in counterpointed melodies and harmonies. The baritone beating of dragonfly and butterfly wings. I love dragonflies and would venture to say they are my favorie insects. I want to see them darting in and out of the blades of grass. To look up and see a swarm of them above me. To feel them landing on me and to feel the breeze of their oblong wings. I want to lose myself in that world and to feel like I am just another part of the composition.
What a fucking great birthday present that would be......

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