Specification

I should have specified that the person i was talking about in the last blog entry is someone I met over the last 3 months. Not an older friend.

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Well after a bout of personal crises and a little friendly prodding by the elf, I have resurfaced onto my blog to go full force into the madness and insanity that has lately become my life. The show's rehearsals were going....well...they were going. We finally got to our dress rehersals and last night was our "unofficial" opening/final dress rehearsal/friends and fmaily night. I thought the show went very well, although I was making mistakes I never have in my entire life. Got some nice compliments: You look skinnier! You lost weight! (both gratifying and somewhat displacing) and: I could not take my eyes off of you! You are an amazing dancer! You look so good up there! (again, graitifying, but offputting). Compliments, while healthy, make me so uncomfortable as I am used to denigrating myself left, right and sideways. In any case, I am looking forward to opening night tonight and spending a blissful three weeks with some very nice people...and some not so nice people who have turned out to be wolves in sheep's clothing. I am beginning to feel moronic that I keep placing such rapid trust in new people whom I later discover have the worst of intentions and simply use you to get what they want. The awful part is that I see them doing this to other people and manipulating and lying to them to serve their own selfish needs, and while I want to run screaming "No! Run!" I know it would serve no purpose whatsoever.

I am comforted in knowing that I do have a great circle of friends who give me nothing but their undying love, gratitude, affection, and respect. Even if some of them do drive me up a wall sometimes ;)

V-Day!

Well....I must say that I actually had a really nice Valentine's day. I took my girl Diane out to a Valentine's Lunch. We were dying the whole time and totally bought something for the other without each other knowing. I swear I want to marry that girl, she is just too cute and perfect. Then I went to rehearsal at the studio and worked Michael and Danny's ass. Their pieces look AWESOME. And Michael is going to be amazing in the show. Then I went to Joan;s house and had dinner with her, Mark, Stephen, and Juliette. It was great. I had a really nice time and needed the time to be around people who are older. I've been in a very "Fuck You " mood and while it is getting somewhat better, I am just tired of dealing with bullshit that I don;t have to. I HATE feeling underappreciated and like nothing I do matters or is important to people. So....whatever. This self-sacrificing stuff is getting old. Doesn;t take much for a "thank you."

Eh. New York here I come!

On another note, I am officially taking my first dance class tomorrow....a ballet class...gulp. For seven years I have worked as a dancer/choreographer and never took a formal class. I figured it was about time. It will prove ot eb interesting considering my background is mostly jazz and tap with light ballet. But I want the technique and I need to get my body back into my full dancing shape. I can no longer do my splits, my extensions suck, my layback is awful. All from not doing it everyday for a year. This will be both intimidating and gratifying.