Caramello Con Bon Bon Producions

Is it time for your medication or mine?

I am back from Boca.....I am exhausted. I just got back from class.....I am exhausted. The entire Boca experience was great. It was a lot of hard work, it was a lot of fun. I have not done an industrial show in a while, so it was nice ot get back into the swing of it. Diane, Joey and I had a great car ride down there, and then add Jorge for the car ride back the hilarity ensued even more including a conversation about his meeting with Candy Caramello....a rotund drag queen....whose production company is called Caramello Con Bon Bon Productions. Driving home was tough....it took everything I had not to fall asleep. We got in at about 5 am, slet for about 3 hours, took the rental back, came home, slept for about another 2 hours, met Joey at the dance store and bought hom some dance shoes, went and taught, had some MF moments , and now I am home. Sleep...I need sleep. And a JOB...I need an MF'ING JOB!!!

YAY! MY THESIS WAS APPROVED!!!!

I AM DONE WITH GRAD SCHOOL!!!!

I AM GRADUATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

PromoGuy's Monday Mission 3.16

1. Now that the weather (in America, that is) is getting nice and warm, what have you been looking forward to doing the most?

Um. Staying indoors and staying cool. Although I was raised in desert clime, I can;t stand the heat. I much prefer the cold.

2. On Easter, I had to run around all day visiting family. It turned what was supposed to be a special day and turned me into one big stress-ball. Do you enjoy spending time with your family (parents, siblings, etc.) or do you prefer to see them now and then?

Absence DOES make the heart grow fonder. And that is all I will say.

3. Did your parents play along with the whole "Easter Bunny" legend? Did you eventually figure it out or did someone tell you? How did that make you feel?

No. Never dealt with that myth, although we did eat several saccharine items in the shape of bunnies.

4. This isn't necessarily a religious question (although it certainly can be if you'd like), but what does "Easter" mean to you personally?

The raping of a pagan celebration by a patriarchal church system that is more interested in real estate than the saving of souls. LOL. Means nothing really. Just another sign of how confused people are about religious celebratiosn and their true meaning.

5. When I was a kid, we didn't have plastic Easter Eggs (except for those that came with Mom's L'eggs pantyhose), so we always hid real eggs. One Easter I remember I threw away a broken egg in my bedroom trash can and it took me weeks before I realized why my room smelled like something died in there. Do you have any funny or memorable Easter stories?

Hmmm. Nope. Nothing.

6. I currently watch way, way too many TV shows. In fact, I feel some relief that some are being cancelled or are ending because I just can't give any of them up. Is there anything you do too much of and just can't stop?

Sitting in front of my computer and just staring aimlessly. I do have a problem with staying up late nowadays and watching mdinless crap on TV.

7. Long ago, I took a leadership seminar. At one point the leader gave his philosphy on life: the three things that matter most in life are "your family, your religion and your job, and what they mean to you." Would you agree? What are the three things that matter most in life?

No, I would not agree. I think the three things are highly individualized. Because those are not the three that matter most in my life. I think the three that matter most are happiness, respect, and honesty. And that is just how it is.

BONUS: Were you just being kind, or am I losing my mind?

Ok, someone has been listening to Sondheim's Follies. You are NOT losing your mind, I really am being kind.

Back to My Roots.....In a Sense

He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

I had the most amazing and fun day today. I just got home 30 minutes ago and just got out of the shower. About 3 days ago my friends Shawn and Billy (who work at Busch) invited me to go to Sea World with them today. They managed to get an extra ticket and I asked Jorge to come along. The boys were also bringing their friend Valerie, who turned out to be very cool and got me a 20% discount at dinner (more on that later). We were supposed to leave at 8:30, but I didn't want to leave that early and neither did Jorge. As it turns out that was a good idea because I got an e-mail from my last committee member about my thesis and I had to print stuff out and take it to the department. So everything is in! I just need signatures and I will graduate from this damn school and FINALLY have my master's degree. WOO!!!!

In any case, Jorge and I had breakfast at Perkins, where I got stared down by a young military-looking guy who must have thought I was a terrorist...gee, there is something new. We got on the road and 45 minutes later we hit Sea World, no thanks to some stupid ass traffic. We were to meet the rest of the crew at some underwater dining place surrounded by a shark tank. Ok, I have not been to Sea Worl since I was a kid and my memories of it are vague outside of the Shamu show. Now being Piscean I LOVE the water, LOVE the ocean, and LOVE marine life. But nothing prepared me for what I was going to see and do here. I had NO clue this place could be so much fun.

Outside of being caddy with Jorge, and pretending to be the GAYEST tourists around, I sat and ate while sharks swam in a tank that surrounded the entire restaurant (I never knew Grouper got that big...holy shit). The bar had glass aquarium tops with little fish underneath. Without having to narrate every single moment, here is what I did/experienced:

* Watched several theme park shows. One with sea lions. Which I loved,. made me laugh from beginning till end. A pet show with dogs, cats, rats, skunks, birds, ducks and more. Was very cool and intruiging. And then a virque-type show....which kicked some fucking ass. I LOVE aerial strap acts. Holy crap.

*Got to see and feed sea lions. Loud mothers. All the time, ibis are flying around trying to steal food and attacking people. Peaceful loking creatures my ass.

*Got to see dolphins for the very first time and had an amazing experience touching some of them and feeding them. I hated the idea of it because I about their "change" the minute they are touched by people. But I felt a special affinity and connectedness to them. It felt nothing like I expected. The tops are smooth like a rubber beach ball and the bottoms feel like soft pudge. It was amazing seeing them so up close and hearing them click and squeek. Something I will never forget. I don;t think I stoppe smiling once.

*A brief stop at the stingray tank. Those things are slimy, but amazing creatures. It was odd touching it knowing it would sting the shit out of me if it so felt.

*Seeing all kinds of marine life from birds to underwater creatures. Loved the shark encounter tube tank. AMAZING. Jellyfish and Lionfish. AMAZING. Screaming bratty kids and adults who are morons. Not amazing. But I can work myself through a crowd. Adult Day at theme parks anyone???

*Not really a RIDE parl. The water ride was standard cheezy story thing. Arctic circle was a quasi-Questor ride. Very interesting (seeing the penguins, beluga, and polar bears following it was cool). The best was riding Kraken, quite possibly the best coaster I have ever been on, four times in a row because we went later inthe evening and there were NO lines. It was absolutely thrilling.

* Watching the Shamu show was very cool. Did not sit in the spalsh zone but these creatures are just magnificent and HUGE.

* Going to dinner at Bennigans and Valerie bitch my waiter out because he got my order wrong and then was belligerent and unapologetic when I asked him about it. Got 20% off.

*Riding in the car to and from Orlando singing like maniacs to Dreamgirls. Jorge: My god, you ARE a black woman.

* Billy using a toothpick constantly and finding out it was some preventitive thing for SARS...I have NO clue.

And having a totally amazing day that was relaxing and fun and worry-free. I had such a great time and I can't wait to do it again.

Music That Soothes the Soul

Am I Living It Right? Why Georgia Why?

A close teacher friend of mine let me borrow her John Mayer CD because I have been listening to more and more of his music and am using one of his songs in my dance piece. I truly love this man's music and lyrics. The strength of it did not truly hit me until I saw the text right there in front of me. He has these truly poetic and non-lyrical way of expressing sucha wide range and depth of emotion and matches it so perfectly to both basic and complex melodies and music. I love that he atypical of the crap music that is out there right now and explores deeper facets of human emotions and life rather than the typical crap we always hear. Plus, he is incredibly honest and soul-bearing in his music. Love it love it love it. This has me inspired to do an entire John Mayer piece. If you do not have this man;s cd, GO BUY IT!

On another musician note, I bought Norah Jones' cd because I was tired of my burned crap copy and I have to say that there is something about her voice that exudes such pathos and joy paradoxically at the same time. She has this sultry smoky Asian-influenced sound that really tugs at you. Once again...GO BUY IT!

Reconnecting with the Past

Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.

Well I had a soul-fulfilling day yesterday. I met up with a friend whom I have not seen or spoken to in two years He has grown up quite a bit, both physically and mentally (he was 16 when I last saw him). It was amazing to say the least. The first few moments were somewhat awkward as we tried to get our bearings back, but after a while we started talking and could not stop. We sat around and chatter for about 2 hours. I had forgotten how much we had in common when it came to our beliefs and our scoial thoughts. I think moreso than anyone else, he thinks the same way I do about life and other things and it was great re-connecting with someone who understands where I come from and what my impetus is behind things. I hope this is not the last time I see or speak to him. I have always found him to be constant source of laughs and joy. I am certainly enjoying this strange influx of old friends coming back into my life.

After that I had to teach dance class, which was ok, but was not pleased at the amount of people who were not there. It a serious questioning of their dedication when people who want careers in the dance world simply can;t show up to a class. It;s also rude and disrespectful in my opinion, but it certainly helps when I make casting decisions.

Oh the Pain

Always hold your head up, but keep your nose at a friendly level

I have had this shooting pain behind my right eye all day which has caused quite the headache. It started this morning when I wa son AIM with the Elf and I could not see the screen or what he was typing or what I was trying to type. It was weird. So I took a break to run some errands and that is when the pain started. I came home and lied down and massaged my eye and the pain did not go away. SOmehow I fell asleep and woke up extremely groggy and sore. Then I attacked STACKS of papers I was behind in grading. Got those done. Cleaned my room. Now I have to update my resume and apply for some jobs before i go into the poor house. Then I need ot cast this piece which is conflicting me. I paid my bills os those are out of the way. And I am rambling incredibly badly. My god, I have lost it.

I Be Tuhred

I plead contemporary insanity.

I am exhausted. Had auditions today for the studio show. Went in at 11:30 and watched the Ballet portion, which actually helped decide casting for my piece. I was fortunate enough to have two people come in for me, Brandon (who was suffering from a hangover, poor thing) and Kara (who is back in town and back to her good ol self). I was worried about this piece I because I wanted something to top the last one I did (plus, it didn;t help people saying "How are you going to top this?" A compliment and a neuroses-inducing statement all in one). But I am SO jazzed about this piece. It is very contemporary, has a very clear and thorough storyline, and has the potential to be a kick ass piece. It all takes place in an Italian restaurant and uses Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant" as a springboard. The hard part is going to be casting this, but I think it will be great. I can;t wait to start working on it.

Doing Da Deeds

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them

Well, I had a busy and tiring day. Had rehearsal tonight for the Boca gig. Jorge met me here and we drove off. Between the hours of 6 and 12, I managed to do 3 good deeds and help out 3 people. Helped out a friend with his relationship problem, helped out a newcomer to town sitting by himself at Bennigans, and helped another friend hook up with the stranger. Made me feel really good at a time when people are trying to make me feel bad and worthless about what I do for them and in general. The best part was helping out the stranger. Jorge and I went to Bennigans and he ordered a drink, but didn;t want the second one, so he offered it to a guy sitting at the corner of the bar who was within talking distance of us. One thing led to another and we find out he likes our waitress (who is a friend of mine) and by the end of the night they have exchanged numbers and he is sitting with us and chatting and laughing. He was VERY cool and very nice and didn;t respond violently to Jorge saying: So how does it feel to have a faggot buy you a drink? Yes, they were both a wee bit wasted. But it was cool and Mike (the stranger, from Maine) seemed like an awesome person and perfect for my friend. So we shall see. I like these moments. Makes me feel like I am making an important difference in someone's life and being appreciated for it.

Movin' On

Had a productive day yesterday. Taught my classes (realized how much I am looking forward to not doing that anymore for a while). Came home, edited my theses, sent them off. Did my taxes, filed them, got my refund ready to direct deposit. Cleaned up the apartment a little bit. Went to the dance studio and marveled at the lazy ass dancers and lecturing them. Went to dinner with Jorge at the last minute and vented.

And there you have it....

Were you expecting some long drawn out philosophical post? Ok then....MONKEY POO!

PromoGuy's Monday Mission 3.14

1. Would you rather impress or influence others? Why? Which do you tend to do more than the other?

I hate the term influence, but yes, that is what I prefer. I am not into impressing others because I just don;t have the egomaniacal capacity to do that or ot want to do that. I like being the kind of person who "influences" others either directly (through my actions or words) or indirectly (through my friendships or my theatrical work). I have this innate thing in me to teach and to educate and to help because I get joy out of seeing someone learn something new or making a change in the positive direction. It makes me feel like I am contributing something to a person or their life. Makes me feel productive. I definitely influence more than impress although when need be if it invovles a job I can toot my own horn...with GREAT reservation.

2. Are you able to admit your weaknesses to others? How do you handle your weaknesses (Can you accept them and see them as a strength? (Do you strive to overcome them? etc.)

Some, yes, and some, no. I don;t find any embarassment in having weaknesses because we are all human, however, I hate feeling week and much rather be strong and in control. I try to use my weaknesses as strengths for something. I use it instead of letting it beat me. Hey. No one is perfect.

3. How do you react when you are bossed around, treated as inferior or taken advantage of?

LOL. Diane...you want to answer this? For the most part I just lie down and take it. It just depends on the person. I am always in control of the situation though because I know when it is being done to me and I make the conscious decision to let it happen. Not necessarily a smart thing, but when it involves helping others, I'll let it pass. When it's abusive, I silently retaliate or cut off all connection quite destructively. I may be selfless but no one fucks with me....even when they think they can.

4. Do you live your life to meet your own needs, or do you live to meet the needs of others? Why?

As a selfless person I am always living my life to meet the needs of others because it involves one of my needs. I am not a TOTAL pushover, but I do practice what a close friend calls "senseless acts of selflessness." Again, it;s about the joy and fulfillment in knowing I can lend a hand to someone and know that I have helped them in some small measure or made them happy.

5. This is your Mission on Mondays, but what is your mission in life?

To make people laugh until they pee in their pants. Plain and simple. Well, and to know that I left this world a little better than how I found it.

6. Can you focus on your goals and achieve them, or are you sidetracked by minor distractions along the way?

When I set a goal I usually follow through on it to completion. The only time something gets in the way is when it is something out of my control (i.e., not having a green card).

7. When was the last time you cried? What were you feeling at that moment (anger, sadness, etc.)?

Oh jeez. Um....four weeks ago our of sheer exhaustion, anger, confusion and sadness. I usually bottle it all up until the damn breaks and everything comes flooding out. It usually happens only when someone touches me when I am on the edge, then I let loose. It's SO physiologically psychological. Odd.

BONUS: Who can it be knocking at my door?

A HEFF-AH!!!

Ocean's Blue

Turns out not where but who you're with that really matters.

Well, I had a great day. The Chicago cast sunset boat trip finally went through and I went down to Clearwater to meet up with Tony. We drove for an hour and a half to get to the beach (which is only about 2 miles from my mom's house), so yeah that was fun. But we got there a half hour late only to find some other people missing and Johnny (who owns the boat and runs a fishing business from it -- think a big, black islander with a great sense of humor). So we finally take off on the boat and drive around for about 4 hours and com back. It was SO nice to be back on a boat and on the ocean again. It has been WAY too long. For the first hour and a half I just sat on the edge of the bow dangling my legs over watching the ocean surface, listening to nature, smelling and feeling the ocean breeze and not thinking or caring about a damn thing in the world. And then it got crazy and we all went crazy having fun, cracking on each other and messing around. It was SOOOO nice to see people like Rand, Kristine, Rocco, and Ronnie again. Rand just cracks my ass up and is one of the coolest people I know. I am trying ot get him to audition for Footloose because I think he would be great in it the role and because I love working with him. He;s one of the few good people that exist in the world. I spent most of the time tormenting Jason physically and Tony verbally and re-enacting scenes from the Titanic with Rand. Good times. I really want to do this every Sunday because I miss the calm of the ocean. It almost feels like returning back to a home (how Piscean of me). There is NOTHING like an ocean breeze and the smell of the sea (not the nasty fish kind). I needed this day. I feel relaxed, but thikning about the week stresses me out. So for now, I will think happy ocean thoughts mixed with Tony freaking out about birds and the ocean water touching him, Jason's right nut, smacking Brittany, being the Queen of the World with Rand, and yelling obnoxious things to boater passer-bys.

Robin Williams....By Far the Best

Ok, I have always loved Robin Williams and idolized him when I was younger and I still do. I think he is great in every part he does and he is truly exemplary of the idea that the best dramatic actors are comedians. It was odd for me to watch him in Insomnia because it was such a switch for him, but a great one. It streched his ability and image as an actor. I thought he was disturbing in that movie, but NOT anywhere NEAR his performance in One Hour Photo. He fucking creeps me out in the movie and actually makes me feel uncomfortbale. He is amazing. Just amazing. Such honesty and such realism in his performance. If you have not seen this movie. GO SEE IT!

A new blog pal. Was kind enough to leave a great April fool;s comment on the last entry and I love the blog. So go read up. freshnjuicy

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward.