PromoGuy's Monday Mission 3.30

1. Have you ever had, or known someone who has had, a "Mid-Life Crisis?" What happened? Is there such a thing or is it just an excuse?

Yes I have. Several older friends. I don't think it is some clinical thing that people genetically go through but rather a socialized behavior that seems to be engrained in us to go throug this crisis when we realize that our bodies have begun to limit ourselves while we try to reclaim our youth because we are lead to believe that old age equals infirmity and death (literally and figuratively).

2. Have you ever had a dream so vivid, that you woke up with certain emotions towards a person for what happened in your dream, even though they didn't do a thing to deserve it in real life? What did you feel and and what was the dream?

No, they usually happen the other way around. I express my hidden emotion for them in my dreams.

3. I think everyone is creative in some way or other. Some people draw, some play music, some write, some cook, some build or sew. How do you express your creativity? Have you ever made money from it?

I am a performer both onstage and as a choreographer. Yes, I have made money from it, and plan on doing so full time one day.

4. Speaking of creativity, I display some of my artwork on my website. It is there for everyone to view, but if I learned it was stolen and used commercially without my permission or being paid, I would be furious. Has anything you created ever been stolen? How did you handle it?

Not entire works but pieces of it and some original moves. I felt insulted because a) I was not asked and b) the execution was horrible and made the moves look shoddy as all get up.

5. I imagine the question above is similar to what the music industry is going through with file sharing. Do you think downloading music via file sharing is "stealing?" Is taking songs without paying for them any different than someone taking your work without your permission?

No, I do not think it is stealing. The songs themselves are not what are being sold, but the right to hear them and own cds. File sharingis no different that putting a tape in a deck and recording a song off the radio. Should we hunt down all those people as well? Or how about recording shows off of TV? That is very different because you are "stealing" music for your own enjoyment not to claim as yoru own ro to use for your benefit. I think "stealing" the music and trying ot make money off of it, however, is wrong.

6. How do you feel about the RIAA targeting everyone (parents, teenagers, grandparents) who share songs over the Internet with expensive lawsuits? Should they be selective in who they subpoena, or should all who violate copyrights be treated equally? Or are they going too far? Should the music be free?

I think they need to back the hell up and relax. No intelligent explanation here, just get out of our grills.

7. On the same thought, what do you think pay-per-song concepts such as iMusic and BuyMusic.com? Will they succeed? Is this the solution? If not, what is?

I think it's a nice alternative for lazy people or as a compromise to file sharing, but it won;t last and doesn;t work as a solution if you have file sharing programs.

BONUS: Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday?

Because we change every second that we breath.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

I am on cloud FUCKING nine. I am overjoyed, exuberant, scared, anxious, happy, apprehensive, green, jittery and foolish. I simply can't even talk but if there were a mountain nearby, I would be screaming!

Crossing the Fingers, Toes, Humps, Eyes, and then some

I have this impending sense of doom looming over my head and my anxiousness and nervousness is not helping. I just want things to work out...if for only this once.

PromoGuy's Monday Mission 3.29

1. The other night my family took a walk while I stayed home to finish some chores. I knew they would be visiting some neighbors on the other block, but the longer they were gone, the more I got uncomfortable. As darkness fell and no one was back, my mind just went nuts with all these scenarios that could have happened. Of course, everything was fine and I was upset for no reason at all. But it is amazing how the mind can really do a number on you. Have you ever been in a situation where you were worried sick about something/someone and your mind played out horrible outcomes? What was the situation and what did your imagination come up with? How did it all turn out?

Um....yeah...ALL the time. I tend to over-think/intellectualize/analyze situations, so my favrotite form of self-torture is playing "What If?" Needless to say this has caused quite the number of anxiety attacks. I mean just as recent as last night when I was trying to get a hold of a friend on the phone and no one answered and I kept calling back and nothing and I kept thinking of all these stupid things until finally they did and I was ok.

2. My Great Grandmother would turn her car around and drive an extra block, if a black cat crossed the road in front of her. I used to toss salt over my shoulder when I spilled some. Silly stuff, really. Are there any superstitions that you believe in, or just do out of habit? Do you feel like it makes a difference?

Both for me. I believe in them and I do them out of habit. I do the salt thing, the ladder thing, never believed the black cat thing, the mirror thing and oh so many others. Yeah I do think it makes a difference. At least to me, and that is what matters most.

3. Spiders, mice, insects, blood, being home alone at night...some folks I know told me that those things really scare them. What frightens you?

These don;t really frighten me as much as SEVERELY bother me. Cockroaches and IV/Injection needles. Oh good lord, those two things will freak me out ANYTIME. I have literally climbed on top of a chair in the presence of a cockroach and have had stress attacks and pit stains the size of Alaska upon looking at a needle.

4. Has there ever been a time where you were too proud to ask for help? What was the situation, and did you ever finally ask?

I never ask for help, but recently I did when it came to a matter of economics and I HATED to do it, but I didn't have much of choice. So I did.

5. Have you ever had, or do you have In-Laws (or the non-marriage equivalent) that you just don't like or do things that drive you insane? What are some of the things they've done that almost drove you over the edge?

I am not even going anywhere near this question.

6. It has been said that you can tell how a man will treat his wife/girlfriend by watching how he treats his mother. Do you think that is true?

Yes and no. I think it is also a matter of how the mother treats the son which leads othis view of women.

7. But then, there is the other extreme. Do you know any men that are just a little too close to their mothers? You know the kind, they won't make a decision on their own, can't do their own laundry and so on? How did that relationship work out for you? Any stories to tell?

Hm. Not that I know of really. Most of my male friends really aren;t super close to their mothers that would make it seem unnaturally healthy.

8. What did you do last night after the sun went down?

I smiled.

BONUS: Radio, what's new?

Nothing. Just a repeat of what has come to pass.

Oh John Clare....Where Are the Buzzing Flies?

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All
you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it
comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing,
then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person
who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it
poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

I feel both happy and sad at once. Both confused and clear mingled with a sense of apprehension and anticipation. This is like something I have never felt, but is something I want to keep feeling and to continue exploring. It continues to amaze me how the best things often happen out of the most adverse and unlikely. The hardest thing is to stop myself from over-feeling, from over-intellectualizing, and to just let go and enjoy. But I want my safety net, I want to be protected, and I don;t want to fall back into that recess that has comforted me for so long. Ms. Berberich was right all those years ago when she said: Let go and let love. I think I finally understand what she truly meant by that.

PromoGuy's Monday Mission 3.28

1. When was the last time you were in the hospital as a patient? As a visitor?

About four months ago to get a cyst removed from my head.

2. Have you ever been put under anesthesia or sedation? For what reason? Did it mess with your mind?

Yes. Only once. When I went in to get my wisdom teeth yanke dout. They put the IV in my hand, big veins there, and all I remember is feeling it get EXTREMELY cold and then passing out. I do know that afterwards I was making jokes with my friend Laurie who drove me there that I was good to drive. I was aware of my idiocy.

3. Have you (or someone close to you) ever had any major surgery? How did it go?

Yeah. They all went well.

4. How about the emergency room? Have you ever had to be taken there, or had to accompany someone else? What happened?

Nope.

5. Have you ever donated blood (or other fluids)?

Nope.

6. Are you an Organ Donor? How do you feel about having your organs being donated to those in need once you die? Have you or someone you know ever been the recipient of donated organs?

Yes. I am totally for it. I certainly don;t need them anymore so why keep some Egyptian attachment to them. Let someone else use them if they can. God knows they are pristine and clean since I ain't got no vices.

7. Do you know any men who refuse, or are too afraid, to go to see a Doctor? Why are so many men like that?

Me. Not afraid. Just don;t like it. NOt sure why many men don;t like it, I know I just hate it from horrible experiences as a child. The whole IV and injection needle thing did NOT go well with me. Maybe I was vivisectified in a former life.

BONUS: Do you remember when we used to sing?

Yes, I do. And what beautiful sounds it made...too bad it had to end.

Happy Birthday China Love!!!

Courtesy of you, and in honor of your birthday. I wish I had money to buy you a prezzy, but I hope this will do.

PUNK ROCK : Like a revived species of nearly extinct salamander, Punk Rock Asian Girls are a rare type, but slowly climbing up to existence again. Your passions are mainly music and anime and you've probably dyed your hair some odd color of the rainbrow. And if you haven't, you probably will. You often feel like you are misunderstood, but don't worry. Just think about thongs. Very funny.


What Asian Girl Are You?

Fleeting Moments of Speech

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

I've somewhat abandoned the blog thing for a while because I just have not felt like writing; partially because I am always at rehearsal, and partially because i am too frustrated and morose to write. I HATE not having a steady paycheck and having that starving artist feeling. The job market SUCKS. I mean I did manage to get a job teaching at a private university and I got bumped up to 5 classes at the studio, so I will do fine....but ain't until August. I have to figure something out until then or I am so screwed. I go home everynight and can;t go to sleep because I am so stressed and then sleep in so late. I think this is the earliest I have been up in 2 weeks. I am hating living here by myself and a knowing that all my Tampa friends are too far away and not nearby to go hang out with anymore....god knows the inconvenience for my across-the-bay friends is too great. Ugh. I hate feeling like this. Couple all this with the recent development of something being stirred and awakened in me by someone.....this is not a good feeling for me to be having simply because I don;t want to have it, deal with it, or face it. But I like it....and I like how it makes me feel sometimes. This sucks aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaass.....

PromoGuy's Monday Mission 3.27

1. A theme you may notice in the MM more often than others is "the road not taken." It fascinates me to no end the way one single decision can change the course of one's life. To think, if I hadn't gone there that day I'd never met her, or if I had only waited for the phone call, or I am so glad I didn't get on that plane that day. Can you think of one single decision you made that changed the course of your life. A decision where if you had done something else, everything would be different now?

Yes. The decision not to fight my parents on where I went to college. If I can had gone to a college out of state to pursue my theatre degree, I could have very well started my pro theatre career mch earlier and been able to fulfill a lot of my goals. But alas, I was not to be so lucky as they pretty much said hell no. Ahhh, the smell of support. But on the flip side, had I not satyed behind I would not have accomplished a lto of what I have. The road you didn;t take....

2. Or maybe you think "the fates" have it all planned out for us. Do you think every life has a pre-determined course, that we will wind up at point X regardless of the decisions we make?

Yes and no. I think some things are fated to happen, i.e., meeting someone, but I also think that you have two courses and paths to take and that your decision affects how fate with deal with you. I like to think there is some combination of both pre-chosen and free-choosing...could be the control freak part of me. But I have had many instances in which I can;t explain how something has happened, i.e., meeting someone whom you never think you would connect with.

3. This train of thought leads, of course, to relationships. I personally do not believe in "soul mates," but many do. I can't deny that some people are just right for each other. However, there are plenty of other relationships that crash and burn because it is not a good fit. Do you think that it is that left up to us and random chance to decide who we are with? Are we are guided to the person we were meant to be with or could you be with the wrong person while "the one" is still somewhere out there?

God this topic can get confusing. I think there is such a thing as a soul mate, however, I don;t think that it always ends up being the person you fall in love with and marry. I think it can be a friend. I do believe that sometimes fate can draw two people together, two seemingly opposite or similar people who come together in the oddest of situations. There are some friendships whose origins I just don;t question because they happened so oddly, but they have been some of the best relationships I have had.

4. At the 4th of July parade, I saw this fella with a HUGE beer belly. That right there is enough to make me swear off beer! I am not a beer drinker. I've never liked the flavor. As a college kid I drank my share, but I had to learn to tolerate the flavor, and only could if the beer was icy cold. It was never refreshing, it was always a means to an end. It used to be fun, or what I thought was fun then. Things have changed a lot, and as I've aged my tolerance has lowered and it doesn't take much to make me drunk, so I just avoid it. Do you like to drink and get drunk? When was the last time you were drunk or hung over? What was the occasion? How did it feel at the time? How did it feel the next day?

LOLOL. I don;t drink, I never have outside of small sips to reinforce the fact that I hate it, I don;t like being around people who drink nevertheless when they are drunk, and I am totally against people geting drunk. Did I mention I am against drinking?

5. On the same topic, have you ever done anything you regret while "under the influence?" What happened? Do you remember it or did you have to be told?

This would be pointless since I have never been under the influence. However, one time I think I did get drunk on water. It was so strange.

6. I am guessing many out there won't have answers to the above two questions. I wish I could say the same, but I thought it was "cool" to drink and do all those things because all of my so-called "friends" were doing them too. Were you/are you able to resist peer pressure in school/college? How? If not, what did you do that you wish you hadn't?

Yeah, I able to resist it a lot because I just didn;t give a shit. It didn;t matter to me what the majority was doing because I had the power and control over my life and myself, not them, to have given in would have transferred some of the power to them and once someone has an in, that is it, they can use it to their advantage. Plus, I was never one for compromising my ethics and morals for other people.

7. What things are better left unsaid?

I love you.