Something Substantial?

Well, the little logo is drawing two kinds of reactions: 1) Curiosty and head-tilting followed by 2) dislike. So it will change soon; just bare with me while I try to find something else.

In honor of PromoGuy, and in an effort to get more of you to comment, I am going to post daily (to my best ability/availability) questions for you all to answer. I expect SOME level of involvement.

So tonight/this morning's discussion and question stems from the movie The Butterfly Effect. I have to admit that I was hesitant to rent it, even though I think Ashton Kutcher is moderately funny on occasion. But I have to give him kudos on this movie. He did quite well for himself. Kudos to the writers as well for an imaginative movie that had the potential to be disturbingly boring and repetitive but worked very well, even, and especially, with the non-traditional Hollywood ending.

The basic premise of the movie deals with trying to change supposedly small events in the past for a rosier future in the interest of everyone, only to find that one small change has larger, sometimes negative, effects (hence the use of Chaos Theory and the Butterfly Effect - VERY interesting stuff).

I have found myself, begrudgingly so, thinking about things I have done and said and wanting to change a lot of decisions and choices because I think things would have gone differently (read: better). Life can be interesting as you get older. That whole "mispent youth" cliched ethos does have some measure of truth in it. You start wishing you would not have done THAT thing or had done SOME thing; or imagining your life with certain people in it and others out of it. Or even thinking about the road you didn't take in favor of the one that seemed easier. I am being philosophically ambiguous and circular, I know. But this is free-range thinking. I abhor playing "What If?" with my life, but sometimes life necessitates the practice.

So I pose this question for you to answer: What IF we could go back and change just ONE thing. With no consequence other than the one we wanted. What would you do?

...and don't give me that "I don't regret anything I have done and would change nothing." None of us is divine, this is not about regret, this is about possibility.

What would I change? Oh so many things because I do feel I have made many mistakes in my life, and while I have learned much from them, there is much I wish I would have done differently. Do I regret? Sometimes. Am I made to regret by others? Often. Would I regret the opposite path? I would be willing to take that risk. There are two very definite things that I would change:

1) I would not have stopped taking piano lessons for assinine reasons. It was a passion of mine as a child and even as an adult. I wish I could play it a lot better than I do, which is minimal...VERY. I used to, and still do, love watching Jason Tucker play because I watch his hands and hear the sounds and imagine my hands in place of his striking the keys, elliciting the sweet tones from the piano, whether dischordant or harmonious. Just the ability to bring composition to life or to cull something new from my hands randomly pushing the keys in the search for a new line.

2) I would have convinced, albeit with great difficulty, my family to not escape to America during the Gulf War. This is hard one for me because so much has happened because of my coming to this country, but so much has happened because I came to this country. I really can't expound much on this because it would entail my recounting much of my 13 years here and I have neither the time nor penchant for doing so, nor do any of you have the time or desire to read all that. Besides why spoil the mystery.

So I bring this long and involved post to a close. I patiently expect answers from you, especially the silent readers. Your opinions mean much to me, let them be heard.